Can't Raise A Man

I've Been That Girl… 

If you're sad like me and obsessed with shows such as Love & Hip Hop, Real Housewives of Atlanta etc. then I am 100% sure you know all about Being Mary Jane (if you don't get to know!) All these shows have one thing in common and that is LOVE. You see it all on these shows. Men cheating and vice versa, being the other woman, being second best, unrequited love, falling in love, you name it. Yes, you may argue that they're scripted, it's not real, it's for our entertainment and so on, but truth be told… We have all been there, and can relate some way or another.

What I always find interesting is how these women handle these situations they find themselves tangled and caught up in. And the saddest reality of them all is the patience within these women that endure years of endless cheating and lies. Why is this? Is it fear? Are you appeasing your loneliness? Self-esteem issues? And the craziest thing of all, is that after all the bullshit, you turn around and make excuses for him! I won't even mention the other thing, because I refuse to believe that that alone can make any woman stay (you know what i'm talking about.. yes that!) One thing I've learnt in the past is that 9 times out of 10, that man will never leave his wife/girlfriend for you, he's having his cake and eating it too.

Let me make one thing clear, I am not talking about married women here. There are many cases and a thousand reasons why married women choose to stay and try to work things out, the main reason being the kids etc. I'm sure after 20+ years of marriage the thought of just upping and leaving is the most daunting challenge ever. But, we won't go into all that, because firstly I am not married and secondly, that is a whole 'nother post in itself. I am referring to some of you ladies out there. What are you waiting for exactly? A ring to make it all better? (sarcasm)

"Ain't nothing like self-love".

I think the biggest mistake any women can make is thinking she can change a man. I see it all the time. But do you know what you're doing girl? You're making him "better" for the next one. Why spend years moulding someone into your 'perfect' guy for someone else to swoop in and "get" the re-modified model? Or maybe I'm wrong… Maybe you can change a man, maybe you will be the one to make him see what he's been blind to? Mmmm…

"The RIGHT guy will arrive at the RIGHT time, without you having to change… Neither of you will be PERFECT, but you'll be PERFECT for one another".

This post comes after a conversation I had last night with one of my girls. She was telling me how happy she is, and how good it feels to actually be with someone who feels the same way about you. No second-guessing yourself, no mind games. And I felt so happy for her. I couldn't agree more. I wondered for a split second why some girls settle with being second best. Don't they want to know how it feels also?

We sounded like two old (but wise) grandma's talking about relationships and how "bad boys" would not get you far in life and that rubbish myth about nice guys finishing last. And it's moments like these when I think about how much growing up my friends and I have done over the past years. Talking about real things in life. Don't you just love those deep, meaningful, thought-provoking conversations with your girls?

To be honest with you, this post could go on forever, there is so much to talk about surrounding this topic, but I think I will leave it here or ill be here all night. What are your thoughts? Why do you think some women choose to stay for so long? Can you relate? Comment below :)


Disclaimer
I am no relationship expert. I'm a work in progress myself, but the mistakes I've made in the past have been a lesson and most importantly a teacher. I'm simply expressing my thoughts and opinion, thinking out loud. If you're offended, well maybe something I said hit home and maybe you need to wake up and smell the coffee…

And on that note…